Waking Life

I wake up

as I do everyday,

take time to make up

my mind about how I feel

about the day ahead.

You think you know me,

what do you see when

you think you see me,

but it’s never me

you’re looking at

but the me you

want to pretend I am.

I hold my breath,

I will not drown

in your lies,

they fill my head

but what I said

still remains true

despite anything said before.

I look at you,

I wish I knew

what to tell you

but would you listen

or would you

hear the words

only thinking of

the words you think

will change me

into the person

you want me to become.

A distant place is where I am,

in dreams

I am myself,

but I do not remain long

before I wake up

to the dreary days

here in my bed.

It’s been so long,

these many years,

so many tears

but still I am here

lost among the shadows.

Here I am wondering

how I will ever be myself

when nothing about myself is certain.

Here I am wondering

how I will find a way

to get out of this place.

I wake up

as I do everyday

and I wonder when

those dreams will be

my waking life.