Thoughts

I’ve got these thoughts in my head,

the words that you said

on repeat,

but I don’t want to remember anything about you.

I say to myself,

it’s all in the past

but when the thoughts

fill my with sadness

I cannot get away from myself.

I know what you said were lies,

you thought you could control me,

but now I am free from your grip.

I may have suffered

and I may have lost everything I had

but at least I’m moving on with

my life.

What almost brought me down,

past the point of no return,

is now locked away

placed on a shelf in my mind.

If you are reading this you know you were wrong,

God was not what brought me to you,

and what you did to me

won’t stop me

from living my life.

I wish I could express it better

but when I think of those times

the tears are not far behind.

I remind myself it’s over,

it’s all in the past,

but memories remain

and the words you abused me with

have shattered me

though I remain strong through it all.

I’ve been hurt once or twice

in my life,

now I do not trust anyone,

but I am not going down.

I will go on no matter how much I’ve been broken,

I’m writing these words

just to get the thoughts out of my head.

I know they won’t go away for good

but what else can I do

but put it away from time to time

wishing and praying that it won’t happen again?

When you saw me what did you see?

A victim ready for your trap?