I wake up out of breath. I’ve already forgotten the dream but the emotions are still there. I’m feeling things thought I d not know why. It’s like I have amnesia and all I have left are emotions with no known cause. I try to focus on something that will ground me but I keep coming back to the feeling of being alone.
I go through the routine of getting ready for the day in a fog. My emotional fog caused by dreams I no longer remember. I find it hard to think beyond ese raw emotions. No one sees what’s going on inside. They see the usual neutral expression which is my way of not showing any emotion to anyone. I’m afraid someone will judge me no matter what I am feeling.
I wish I could start this over again as much as I wish that I could start this day over and I include my dreams. This make me think of a good question. When does the transition from night to morning exist? Do we go to bet at night and wake up to the morning or does it become morning once we wake up which would be very late some of my mornings. I did not phrase that as a question because I’m uncertain if I want an answer. Sometimes i like questions but I’m afraid of the answer.
I once had a dream that I was the neighbor’s dog. How Strange, right?
I sit in class. I don’t know which cass and I think it’s not even my class but I sit in a desk and listen to the teacher lecture about something related to literature or Ancient Greek dramas. I’m also over the weird emotions from this morning. I discarded those emotions like attendees of most music festivals leaving behind all of their junk for someone else to pick up. I’ve never actually been to a music festival.
Class ends. I go to my next class. This time I know it’s my class. I think. I sit a chair again. School is like musical chairs. You sit in a chair until you hear the music, the bell, until you have no more chairs to sit in. Then you graduate with a worthless piece of paper.
Did I forget to mention lunch? I ate food. Amazing story, right?
At the end of the day I walk out of the building wondering if I will remember my dreams in the morning and wondering what we’ll have for dinner.
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