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Slide it in he said. I’m hard and willing but I’m also nervous. It’s not like I do this often. I imagine it’d be more romantic but this feels like something else.

His moan is like the signal that I’m officially in and not just teasing him with the tip. It feels amazing. Sometimes it feels like the first time. I said that I don’t do this often not that I never.

I’ve forgotten his name already. I think it’s something similar to Ben or Ted. It’s not that I don’t want to remember his name but I’m just horrible at remembering names.

We’re naked in his room. He leans across his bed as I’m pushing into him from behind. It could be the most used position for gay men. It could also be the easiest position.

I’m pacing myself trying to focus. I’m trying to ignore the loud music from somewhere outside. I’m trying to ignore the movie he has playing on his bedroom television so his parents don’t hear us.

I wonder if he’s boyfriend material. I wonder if we could go on dates or even go to the prom together in a few years. We’re not very close. We have a couple of classes together and he sits close to where I sit during lunch. Today was the first time he spoke to me in a way that was not classroom related.

He walked up to me after school and he began talking about the new game and system coming out near Christmas as though this conversation were part of our daily routine. He’s cute so I have a crush but I never imagined this day ever being possible.

He asked me to come over as we walked. We walked to his house. There he asked his parents if I could stay the night before asking if I wanted to stay the night. I called my mom and she was fine with it.

We were in his room with the door closed when the conversation went from video games to sex. We went from talking about sex to having it. The transitions were blurs of words spoken aloud and body language.

I nibble at his ear as he moves his hips. My experience is limited so I’m always eager for this as though it’s water and I’m always in a dessert. I wonder if this will become part or our routine.

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