The ordinary and boring adventures of a gay teenage zombie boy, maybe, definitely not worth reading but if you must:
Hello. My name is…
I don’t actually recall my name.
If you haven’t figured out yet I’m a teenage zombie boy and I’m gay.
I wasn’t always aware that I was gay.
It could have been because I was too busy attempting to survive an outbreak that turned people into zombies.
Don’t worry. I’m a vegetarian now. I’m not a vegetarian really I just don’t know what to call it when you’re a zombie that no longer eats human brain.
I was a human brain eating zombie before I saw him.
I don’t know his name. Yet.
When I saw him I became hard for the first time since becoming a zombie.
I’ve never had sex so I’ve never used the thing unless you count the twice a day visit to the bathroom at home or the random restroom when I wasn’t home.
It was that day, that moment, that I lost interest in eating human brain.
It was too late for the boy whose brain I was chomping down on at the time.
I finished his brain because my mom always told me to never waste good food.
I’ve been following and watching this cute boy since that day.
I’ve made it clear to other zombies that he’s mine. I’ve saved his life a couple of times. Not that he was ever aware of his pending doom. I know, how dramatic.
I’ve watched him bathe in the pond of the nearby park. It wasn’t easy hiding in those bushes but I had front row seats for that show.
This is my journey to capture and devour the love of my life. I mean meet and not eat the one I hope to spend the rest of my dead life with.
Join me, shall you? I’ve been watching old YouTube videos on the iPhone of the boy I was eating when I saw the boy of my dreams.
Read about my day to day life. This sounds vertical boring already and it’s my dead life I’m talking about.
I’m going to watch the boy I plan to have sex with for the first time with, someday, take a bath. See you next time. I mean tomorrow. You can go for now. This show isn’t open to the public.
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