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Sometimes I stare at my penis, my dick. I think various things about my anatomy. It looks different based upon my mood and other factors. A few times it seemed foreign and when I touched it I could imagine touching someone else. I could never have it removed even if […]


I was too young to understand my first time. It was so long ago I’ve forgotten some of the details. I grew up uncertain of myself, changing or hiding the things I saw as unusual, trying to be normal when there’s no normal. I’ve got my new outlook now but […]

Boxes of boxes

You heard me once before but you never took the time to get to know me. I’m forever changing, rearranging, with these thoughts rushing with the flow of time. I’m not one thing. I’m not so easily defined. You have boxes you place me within. I don’t fit into your […]


I felt the times changing, restless as I ever am, waiting for the things to be become our everyday living. I close my eyes to the things that bring me down so low. I’m not a victim anymore. I’ve overcome the things I’ve carried with me all of these days.

To be

I sleep through the night, waking to the sound of rain, straining to grasp the purpose for waking again to a new day of uncertainty. I hold tight to the past, those moments that made me cry: made me hide my identity to match what others saw when they looked […]


I thought it was so simple once. Nothing complicated when you don’t know enough. I wanted to belong but I was always an outsider trying to be like everyone I saw that appeared to know what mattered.

Days Spent

Days spent silently thinking about those years gone, wondering where the many people met along the way have gone. Not that they’re out there thinking about me, remembering a few moments out of the many moments of their lives. I hear the wind howling against the window. I feel no […]


I’m alone in my bed, tired but I cannot sleep, wishing I was not always alone in my bed. I hear the crickets chirp. I hear my cat meow. It’s warm and I don’t feel fine with how things are going with my life.

When We Would Ride…

Late night and I’m in bed remembering those late night rides on my BMX. Down those small streets where no cars were out, not enough to matter. I don’t know where you are now but we rode together. You the various guys I rode with throughout time. I remember you. […]


I’m tired. I’m working and I’m bored. I’m lonely and sometimes horny. I want more from life but I’m uncertain of how to change things. I would be more optimistic and productive if so many people would sign up for my Patreon and contribute to my CrowdRise. I’m alone in […]


It’s late tonight as I lay myself down to sleep, no counting sheep, as the sound of rain soothes me towards dreaming of that place of imagination. Let’s sleep until we meet in dreams awake for the sake of saving face. Follow me through each day waiting for the timing […]


Autumn comes but once a year with cold breeze and leaves falling from the trees. I know it’s late in the night and I need to close my eyes but all I can think is to think more of you. One way to say how is your day just with […]


I find in the silence, in the in between, after those last words of the last things you said to me I find a purpose that is all I need even though it may not be complete.