A New Year

A slow rain greets me as dreams fade into the early light of a new day. I could remain in bed for a few more hours but I place my feet on the floor and begin my day.

It’s a new year and I’m full of hope for the things possible.

Alone for the season

I hear the songs of the season as the snow begins falling outside. I’m alone on this December evening. I’m always alone dreaming of not being alone. It’s cold outside as I bury myself beneath a stack of blankets.

It’s the time of year to remember how alone I am as families gather together somewhere.

Reelection Upon the Many Years

I can imagine a time when I was younger and not always alone. I’m not speaking from a place of pride but a place of sorrow. I miss those moments. I think back upon those years often. I’m more alone than ever before these days and nights.

I cannot say that I was happy or not but that I was preoccupied most of the time. There were a few times spread out over those years in which I would find myself with someone.

These days, present days, I’m so often by myself…

Secrets: The Search Begins

The wind is cold and damp. I’ve driven for hours to reach this field. After leaving the letter I followed the directions left for me on a note. I drove not knowing if I would find him alive or not.

After this our lives will never be the same again.

Secrets: The Envelope

I enter the room as though I already belong in this place I’ve never been. I count things in my head to calm my nerves. The letter only mentioned the place and time. The envelope in my hand is what the kidnapper wanted.

I walked into our apartment expecting him to be waiting for me but what I found was an empty apartment. The note left instructed me to retrieve a letter from a box at a bank I’ve driven by often but have never been inside of.

In These Moments

I watch the stars at night as the story unfolds in my mind like a map I’ve seen a thousand times. I could hold my breath as the winds of time shift. I can hear the sounds of life, songs of life become my soundtrack.

Have you ever been in love as I am at this very moment in time. The actions in this moment and the moments to follow shall determine my future. If I could see what tomorrow will be like would I be so bold in expressing my feelings?

The Future meets the Past

I close my eyes as rain pours around me. I’m drenched but I remain where I stand knowing that at any moment the future I saw once in a dream will be the present.

I only have so much time, once things begin to occur, to change my past and future in one instance…

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