A Memory of Melrose

A memory dances upon my mind.

I sit up, looking around my tiny room. It’s empty. I moved into this room at the back of a building only a few days ago. My clothes are the only thing on the floor beside me. It’s hot. I’m trying to forget how hot it is and enjoy having my own space.

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High on Santa Monica Blvd.

All I can think about are the lights across the street and how beautiful they look at the moment. I think I’m having a conversation with a friend but i’m uncertain if I’m the only one speaking. I keep talking afraid to find out I’m rambling.

I’m not paranoid. I’m not seeing things that are not there. I’m seeing everything around me as it is but in HD.

The colors are bright. The street has a cinematic look as though it were camera ready. I want to make a movie on this street. I can see San Vicente and the Pacific Design Center. People pass by in small groups. Some of them line up at the Rage. Time has no meaning as I continue my conversation that may or may not be one sided.

A friend wants to go somewhere. I tell him that he will have to drive my car because I’m not up to driving. My conversation ends and the rest of the night begins.

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A

Bitter cold greeted me as I became aware that I was no longer in a dream.

I move beneath the pile of blankets until I’m warm. For a moment I imagine remaining in my warm bed until it’s not so cold outside.

I can feel the pull of dreams keeping me beneath the pile of blankets. I can feel my eyes become weighted with the urge to sleep that comes from being cold. I’m warm now but I’m still sleepy. The warmth after being cold only increases my desire to dream again.

My phone vibrates on the table beside my bed. I forgot to turn the ringer back on again. Not many people call me. Mostly people text me or IM me when they want to communicate with me. It is 2020 after all.

I know who it is without looking. The one friend that always calls me. He’s my age but some of the stuff he does makes him seem so much older.

I ignore the first few times it rings. He doesn’t hang up after the first few rings. He makes it ring, or in this instance vibrate, until it goes to voicemail. I can hear it vibrate on the table. My giant ring of keys next to my phone dance whenever my phone vibrates.

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A New Year

A slow rain greets me as dreams fade into the early light of a new day. I could remain in bed for a few more hours but I place my feet on the floor and begin my day.

It’s a new year and I’m full of hope for the things possible.

Alone for the season

I hear the songs of the season as the snow begins falling outside. I’m alone on this December evening. I’m always alone dreaming of not being alone. It’s cold outside as I bury myself beneath a stack of blankets.

It’s the time of year to remember how alone I am as families gather together somewhere.

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