The headlines are depressing, my life is not what I would have expected. I sit here thinking of choices made, wondering about my choices I will make. Tired and alone, horny but don’t want to do anything by myself. The hour is late, I wonder if I will ever date.
Times Alone Thinking
In my times alone I think so often of times gone, what could I have done differently, these choices we made were made but now we’re uncertain if we were right in the choosing to do things the way we did. I have met so many people, some have died I’m certain, I miss them…
I’m not certain but I think I’m horny, maybe I am most of the time, but it’s hard to ignore these feelings. You may think it’s wrong to want to not be alone but it’s not easy being solo when it comes to these emotions.
I hear the soundtrack of my life, it’s not what you’d imagine. I can hum along but I never know the words. I can recall the feeling behind memories like scenes from a movie I watch again and again in my head. I rewind but I don’t travel in time, no going back.
I take the Red, watching people sometimes, wasting time as above me now people live their lives. The sound of an approaching train, The sounds of people all around, we rush as the doors part, as strangers on a train we leave here for somewhere. We’re all going somewhere, different places, we’re searching for something.…
These nights alone I sit and I pray, I long and I dream, but still I remain.
What without words you expressed: your lips part, I feel your intent as you move me. I move my hips as time stops for us. I could remain like this but soon it will be over. Is there more I desire from these moments or am I satisfied closing my eyes and drifting to another…
Sometimes the nights are long and everything I desire is but a dream. Sometimes I’m alone at night and I wonder where things went wrong. I can’t express this loss of never having it’s like knowing what’s missing without ever having it from the start. Night becomes day and here I am still waiting for…