jasonwhitaker29171
·
August 1, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #boyfriend, #depression, #emotions, #GayWriter, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #love, #lover, #memory, #night, #past, #poem, #sex, #SouthCarolina, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry, writing
Sometimes I wonder
where I went so wrong?
I could love you
but these feelings
won’t let me
let you in.
Somedays I feel like this crushing force
is about to take my last breath
as I remember you
as you were
when we would kiss.
Sometimes I think no one
could ever love me
as I am,
but how could I ever change
who I am for love?
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
August 1, 2019
·
Fiction, writing, poetry, writing
·
#emotions, #FlashFiction, #GayWriter, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #music, #poem, #songs, #SouthCarolina, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, #YAfiction, Fiction, poetry, writing
I have been waiting for so long
to tell you everything
but at these times
the words fail me somehow.
If I could take back
what I’ve done,
reverse the years
to spare you the tears,
I would do anything
to do it all again.
I cannot pretend to understand
having someone like me
is like having no one at all
but here we are
and we’re all we’ve got
in this World.
So, let’s start new
with here and now
and see where things
take us now.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
July 30, 2019
·
Uncategorized
·
#Alone, #emotions, #friends, #GayWriter, #Kiss, #Kissing, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #love, #lover, #past, #poem, #SC, #SouthCarolina, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry, writing
Somewhere, once someday long ago,
we kissed and I remember
how much I wanted it to never end
but here I am alone
longing to be kissed again.
I cannot explain it,
these feelings within
like tiny explosions
in my heart.
Do I still love you
or have I ever loved you
from the start?
Maybe I’ll never know
because it ended before
it had time to truly begin…
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
July 25, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#abuse, #depression, #Dreams, #emotions, #GayWriter, #identity, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #memory, #night, #past, #poem, #purpose, #SouthCarolina, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry, writing
I wish I could be so bold
in my life
but these strings
keep me down.
I feel the tug to be
like someone else
when my real self keeps
reaching up towards
greater heights.
I imagine being myself
but who am I
when these tragedies and lies
have shaped my identity?
I want to love but I fear
love won’t be returned.
These nights alone
I fear these nights
will be the rest
of my life.
Stuck in me head
trying to be me
when your impressions of me
keep bringing me down.
Trying to live my dreams
but all I receive are reasons to give up.
I hear the birds sing
and I hear the wind through the trees
as I sit silently waiting for another day to begin…
Can you take away the pain
and all of these hidden things
that keep me locked away?
I never doubted you,
Lord, you have brought me through
so much pain and suffering
but now I need for you
to make these broken pieces
whole again.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
July 15, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#boyfriend, #cock, #emotions, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #identity, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #LosAngeles, #love, #masturbation, #night, #oral, #poem, #purpose, #sex, #SouthCarolina, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry, writing
jasonwhitaker29171
·
July 8, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#cock, #emotions, #gaypoem, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #identity, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #love, #lover, #past, #poem, #sex, #SouthCarolina, #Summer, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry
jasonwhitaker29171
·
July 2, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #depression, #drama, #emotions, #GayWriter, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #LosAngeles, #past, #poem, #story, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry
I think you know by now
that these doubts linger with me
everyday of my life,
I wish I could take these things
and remove them so easily
but I don’t have the answers
to the riddles of my heart.
Where do I start
to tell of the history
and the pain?
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
July 1, 2019
·
Fiction, writing
·
#boyfriend, #cock, #comedy, #depression, #drama, #emotions, #fantasy, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #hate, #identity, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #love, #lover, #masturbation, #music, #past, #sex, #ShortStory, #story, #Summer, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, #YA, #YAfiction, Fiction
jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 29, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#boyfriend, #cock, #emotions, #gaypoem, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #identity, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #love, #lover, #oral, #poem, #purpose, #sex, #SouthCarolina, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry
jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 25, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#boyfriend, #cock, #Dreams, #emotions, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #LosAngeles, #love, #lover, #memory, #oral, #past, #poem, #SC, #sex, #songs, #SouthCarolina, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry
I was thinking so often,
in that moment
that lasted a only minutes,
that I could take you home
but I was too shy to even
go up to you in person.
I watched hoping
that you’d come over
and things would happen
like an emotion.
I imagine you as my boyfriend
though I don’t know your name.
I imagine us together
though it will never be that way.
I dream of you
if only in that moment.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 18, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#emotions, #gaypoem, #GayWriter, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #love, #lover, #past, #poem, #SouthCarolina, #story, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry
Suddenly I’m into deep
when I’ve chased my dreams
down a dead end street.
I watch you in memory,
you were so much to me,
but now you’re somewhere
out there unaware
of how much you meant to me.
Who am I?
What has made me into
the person you now see?
I’m not perfect
and I will never be whole
because things I’ve left behind.
Suddenly I’m aware of myself.
I am aware of a time forgotten
now remembered as if
lived only a moment ago.
We kissed.
Do you recall?
I was in love
or so I thought
but you turned me down.
It was the best,
for the two of us,
to part as we did
but I still miss your lips
pressed against mine.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 18, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #depression, #drama, #Dreams, #emotions, #GayWriter, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #LosAngeles, #past, #SouthCarolina, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry
I close my eyes to the day,
dreams are better than
my real life.
If I could express
in words
the things
in my head
I would
but they remain
unspoken.
I holding onto so much
you’ve never seen,
what do I know of anything
but the pain that comes
from the struggles of life.
I wait for night to come,
to have a chance
to forget:
if only for a dream.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 18, 2019
·
Fiction, writing
·
#depression, #drama, #emotions, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #LosAngeles, #love, #sex, #SouthCarolina, #words, #writer, Fiction
The bus moves slowly through the town that I once called home. I’ve been sleeping since I left the place I was but now here I am uncertain of what’s next. I could say that moving back here was a part of a greater plan but when have I ever planned anything?
The trees where I once ran between remain. The park still as green as when I was here once so many years ago.
I remember that last night spent here with him. We were in love but my life called me away.
The bus stops and for a moment I consider remaining on the bus. I could go to another town. I could live the rest of my life without returning here…
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 17, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#emotions, #GayWriter, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #LosAngeles, #past, #poem, #SouthCarolina, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry
Days looking back
to a time long forgotten.
Do you remember me?
It was so long ago
that we met,
though we only
knew each other
for such a short time.
Hello,
stranger from my past,
I hope that you are doing well.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 15, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #depression, #Dreams, #emotions, #gaypoem, #GayWriter, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #memory, #past, #poem, #SouthCarolina, poetry
Late night,
alone in my room,
wondering what to do
when I’m so unsure of everything.
I desire to do so much
but I lack the confidence
to do much of anything.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 14, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Dreams, #emotions, #gaypoem, #GayWriter, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #memory, #past, #poem, #SouthCarolina, #words, #writer, poetry
It’s stuck in my head,
fragments of memories,
those times real or imagined.
There’s no one to ask,
no one would know,
these people from my past
either a dream or in my waking life.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 11, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #boyfriend, #cock, #depression, #Dreams, #emotions, #gaypoem, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #love, #lover, #masturbation, #memory, #past, #poem, #purpose, #sex, #story, #writer, poetry
I woke from a dream
not knowing if it was real,
open my eyes to realise
I was dreaming the entire time.
I could say I regret
but life happened
and all you have are memories.
I have a telephone
but no one ever calls me,
I’m alone on this journey of life
and I’m looking for someone to show me
the direction to the the nearest exit.
I wake to a cold bed,
I’m stiff and freezing cold.
I’m alone in my bed
with dreams lingering,
do you remember me
because I was different then?
Now I am woke
ready to smash,
patiently waiting
but always a hopeless romantic
I eagerly wait for the next dream
and as soon as my head reaches the pillow
I’ll be far from here
in a fantasy.
Are you there
reading what I have to say?
I wish we could have been
more than friends
but now it’s not the same
and I am trying to be someone better
than I was those many years ago.
One last thing before I go:
I’m awake and hopeful.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 9, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#boyfriend, #depression, #Dreams, #emotions, #gaypoem, #GayWriter, #identity, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #lover, #memory, #past, #poem, #purpose, #SouthCarolina, poetry
It’s raining outside my window,
darkness all around me,
night has come once again
and dreams will soon find me.
My head is heavy with burdens,
does anyone care?
I find these times alone,
times when I have nothing but thinking to do
to be times of strong emotions
as I recall memories
when all I have are memories.
Is it better to be alone?
No one to share these moments with.
I have my memories
but who cares about my memories?
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 8, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #depression, #emotions, #gaypoem, #identity, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #poem, #words, poetry
I start with a few words
of honesty,
I share what’s happening.
It’s inside of me
these feelings of being inadequate.
I try to ignore your silence
but I don’t have it in me.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 8, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#depression, #Dreams, #emotions, #GayWriter, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #memory, #past, #poem, #SouthCarolina, #words, #writer, poetry
Lately
I’ve been dreaming,
thinking so much
about tomorrow.
I feel these memories,
like pieces of a puzzle.
Tonight
I remember a life
lived before now,
I want to hold tightly to
these moments gone.
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