Dark Places Imagined: Is This the Beginning?

I start with this memory because I recognized a face from that dream today.


The Prelude…

The week is nearly over as the alarm clock wakes me once again. I can hear my boss and i’m still in bed trying to imagine life without this job. I get ready for the day like I do everyday, a step by step process done without much thought or variation. I wear basically the same clothes each day only with a slight variance in shade. I drive to work listening to NPR and drinking my lukewarm coffee. I see the others racing to get to some office as I have for these many years. Once at my desk I begin to work though I sometimes find myself forgetting what I did all day.


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Sometimes I Wonder…

Sometimes I wonder

where I went so wrong?

I could love you

but these feelings

won’t let me

let you in.

Somedays I feel like this crushing force

is about to take my last breath

as I remember you

as you were

when we would kiss.

Sometimes I think no one

could ever love me

as I am,

but how could I ever change

who I am for love?


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Strange Dreams

Sometimes late at night

I imagine things

like strange sounds

outside my bedroom window.


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This Now…

I have been waiting for so long

to tell you everything

but at these times

the words fail me somehow.

If I could take back

what I’ve done,

reverse the years

to spare you the tears,

I would do anything

to do it all again.

I cannot pretend to understand

having someone like me

is like having no one at all

but here we are

and we’re all we’ve got

in this World.

So, let’s start new

with here and now

and see where things

take us now.


Please consider the Following:


Whole Again

I wish I could be so bold

in my life

but these strings

keep me down.

I feel the tug to be

like someone else

when my real self keeps

reaching up towards

greater heights.

I imagine being myself

but who am I

when these tragedies and lies

have shaped my identity?

I want to love but I fear

love won’t be returned.

These nights alone

I fear these nights

will be the rest

of my life.

Stuck in me head

trying to be me

when your impressions of me

keep bringing me down.

Trying to live my dreams

but all I receive are reasons to give up.

I hear the birds sing

and I hear the wind through the trees

as I sit silently waiting for another day to begin…

Can you take away the pain

and all of these hidden things

that keep me locked away?

I never doubted you,

Lord, you have brought me through

so much pain and suffering

but now I need for you

to make these broken pieces

whole again.


Please consider the Following:


Most Important Dreams

Waking in the morning,

I’m out of bed

before my dreams fade

as they do everyday.

No alarm

just another day.

Nothing to do

but work and dream

the day away.

Say nothing to anyone

because I’m all alone in my room.

I dream while awake

and I dream at night

but the dreams that matter

the most to me

are the dreams

I’ve had so many years now…


Please consider the Following:


Past Dreams

I close my eyes to the night,

imagine a memory

but it was only a dream

I once had

when I was young.

What do I recall

from those earlier times?

I was not always alone

but now it’s all I remember.


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I shed the things of my past

like baggage left

at a former house.

I see the changes

over time

like an evolution

of myself.

I feel the soft skin beneath

and the blood rushes.

Counting the stars

while wishing

these dreams

could ever be true.

I lay in bed wondering,

is this all there will ever be?

I keep hope

despite the odds.

Is this real living

or am I a captive of my dreams?

A dream is worth the waiting.



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I hear the bells ring,

singing my song tonight.

Time is my companion tonight,

we go back so far,

he’s always at my side.


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Shatter the Wall

I couldn’t imagine these nights,

like a castle in the sky

my dreams fill my mind

with plans for another hour,

these nights are not easy

because these are the nights

of waiting for something more.

Waiting for a dream

to be more than images

in my head,

waiting for the wall between,

my waking life

and the life of my dreams,

to shatter into fragments of mirrors.


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Shadows on the wall

moving with the rhythm

of the music.

In my head is a world

so different

than this place.

I’m glad you cared enough

but where are you when

I cry alone at night?

At night I think of so many things

but all of these memories

overwhelm me with so many emotions

it’s hard to clear my mind.

Songs calm and focus me

as I write these words.

Can you hear the change in my voice

as I find my thoughts

unscrambled by the music?


Please consider the Following:



Caged Love

As the last ray of light

hits the horizon

I see you in my dreams

once again.

My hands shake

like they did

those many

years ago

in your bedroom.

Have I ever loved anyone

as I loved you then?


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A million questions

inside of my head,

sitting while you were

going down,

closing my eyes

to what’s real

for a dream.

I close my eyes

to it all

when things are tough,

I imagine things are better

but I wonder if

things will ever be better…




Some of these Dreams…

I shake the dreams,

some nightmares

never go away.


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Short Stories

I am posting short stories to my Patreon…


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If You Will Remain

Soft lips

under soft light

candle light,

knowing you’re there.


Moments together

yearning for more.


Day ends

is there more?

can I ever know you

know you more?


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What Became of You…

I didn’t mean to forget you,

if I could go back we’d still be friends,

but now these many years later

we’ve gone our separate ways.

I remember riding so far,

I think of you every so often.

Where are you now?

I have no way to connect with you.

If you read this

please consider saying hi,

I’ve wondered what became of you…


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On My Own

Today I woke up,

alone again,

not knowing

where to begin.

Who can I go to

when I need someone?

I’m here alone,

wondering what to do,

wondering if I will fail

when I try to be more

than I was yesterday.

Will you help me?

Today I wonder

how I will do anything

on my own.



Late night,

alone in my room,

wondering what to do

when I’m so unsure of everything.

I desire to do so much

but I lack the confidence

to do much of anything.

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