Desire
I feel the years peeling away, pages of a book opening for the first time, as memories rush in like a wave. I see it so clear and now I feel a strong desire. I wanted it then but I was too shy to touch you. It was there before […]
Late Night
I’m tired but awake. Alone and lonely. Depressed and anxious. Who am I? What defines me as me? Can I be more than what others may think of me? http://patreon.com/jason29171 Please read my writing on my Patreon and these sites: http://patreon.com/jason29171 https://www.wattpad.com/user/FJasonWhitaker https://fjasonwhitakerwriter.com/ GoFundMe: gf.me/u/zngibh gf.me/u/zngxxz Watch me Live each […]
Once
I held my breath as he went down. His lips pressed against me. He consumed me. I counted the seconds passing wondering how long I could go. He knew what he was doing. He was gentle but he was in control. He had me in his mouth. I closed my […]
Late Evening Hours
It’s late in the evening hours, I don’t know what cam of me, these hours wasted thinking of the yesterdays. I’ve come so far from where I was, lost in a confusion about everything, not that I know everything now but I am wiser than I was those many days […]
Late Evening…
In the late hours of the day I browse my memory for something I lost to time. I hear the music and it makes me recall times gone. Alone I find myself looking back over the years wondering where those people I met are now. These hours spent living moments […]
Now, Alone
I take my time to recall you as you once were just to see the way you look now. It’s not easy being alone but what we had would never last. I have written of my love for you before but I have always known that my love was for […]
I write at Night
I stare at a blank screen. Words appear but what do they mean? I start to look for what was lost to memory. Times both good and bad. Can we have one without the other? It’s late, soon I will dream but for now I write. https://crowdrise.com/dashboard/fjasonwhitaker/videoproductionequipment https://www.linkedin.com/in/jason-whitaker-6234b87 https://teespring.com/stores/f-jason-whitaker-photography http://patreon.com/jason29171 […]
Less…
The moon is high, alone in the sky. I always dream of things different for me. No one here but me in my waking hours. In my dreams I am never alone. I hear the depth to the sorrows but what can I do but cry for those like me. […]
Many Years Ago
When I was younger I thought I knew so much. Those years now gone like a ripple from a stone across a still pond. I think back for a moment to those times longe forgotten now recalled like it were yesterday. A play performed and so many days roaming the […]
So Many Years to Forget
Silence. Waiting for things to change. Panic. I try to forget so much but my memory will not allow it. I stop the tears. The sorrow remains. So many years to forget but they keep coming back to me. Can I find a way to forget the hurt? https://crowdrise.com/dashboard/fjasonwhitaker/videoproductionequipment https://www.linkedin.com/in/jason-whitaker-6234b87 […]
Voices from the Shadows of my past
These times have made me remember the dark times in my life. You don’t know what I have been through. It’s a struggle just to wake up each morning. I wish I could forget the words spoken to me over the years. When I was younger I would hear these […]
Memory
Have you ever watched a movie or read a book and half way through had this feeling that you have already read or watched it before? Sometimes I feel that way about my life. I stand in a field where a house once stood. I can see the walls that […]
Untitled New Story
I found myself on a Greyhound leaving the bright lights of the city for a place I’ve only heard about in stories. What brought about my exodus is another story. This is the story of how a gay boy went to live with his conservative grandparents. This is your warning: […]
Goodbye to the Past
It’s been so many days since we last spoke on the telephone but it’s just now that I write these words down: I wish that things were different, I miss the way it was before but maybe it could never be like it was before again. I don’t blame you […]
Not Forgotten
I slow my mind with a rhythm as my heart races. I think about a moment, it was so long ago, it was just one night but I’ve never forgotten it. I recall meeting him every so often and how I only thought of him while we were together. Sometimes […]
When I dream of Love…
All of these days and nights dreaming of someone like you but you’re just a dream that will never come true. Alone in my room with my thoughts and time… I find myself wanting what I’ve never had from you. Please consider the Following: https://crowdrise.com/dashboard/fjasonwhitaker/videoproductionequipment https://www.linkedin.com/in/jason-whitaker-6234b87 https://teespring.com/stores/f-jason-whitaker-photography http://patreon.com/jason29171 Podcast: […]
Sometimes of Memory
Sometimes while watching the weather repeat, hot days with thunderstorms once again, I find myself thinking about these many years. Once I sat and spoke with you on the Boulevard while fascinated by the colors of the lights and our conversation I recall as a jumble of words. I follow […]
Sometimes I Wonder…
Sometimes I wonder where I went so wrong? I could love you but these feelings won’t let me let you in. Somedays I feel like this crushing force is about to take my last breath as I remember you as you were when we would kiss. Sometimes I think no […]
We Kissed…
Somewhere, once someday long ago, we kissed and I remember how much I wanted it to never end but here I am alone longing to be kissed again. I cannot explain it, these feelings within like tiny explosions in my heart. Do I still love you or have I ever […]
Whole Again
I wish I could be so bold in my life but these strings keep me down. I feel the tug to be like someone else when my real self keeps reaching up towards greater heights. I imagine being myself but who am I when these tragedies and lies have shaped […]
