jasonwhitaker29171
·
July 30, 2019
·
Uncategorized
·
#Alone, #emotions, #friends, #GayWriter, #Kiss, #Kissing, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #love, #lover, #past, #poem, #SC, #SouthCarolina, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry, writing
Somewhere, once someday long ago,
we kissed and I remember
how much I wanted it to never end
but here I am alone
longing to be kissed again.
I cannot explain it,
these feelings within
like tiny explosions
in my heart.
Do I still love you
or have I ever loved you
from the start?
Maybe I’ll never know
because it ended before
it had time to truly begin…
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
July 16, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#boyfriend, #cock, #Dreams, #fantasy, #gaypoem, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #LosAngeles, #masturbation, #night, #oral, #SC, #songs, #SouthCarolina, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, writing
I shed the things of my past
like baggage left
at a former house.
I see the changes
over time
like an evolution
of myself.
I feel the soft skin beneath
and the blood rushes.
Counting the stars
while wishing
these dreams
could ever be true.
I lay in bed wondering,
is this all there will ever be?
I keep hope
despite the odds.
Is this real living
or am I a captive of my dreams?
A dream is worth the waiting.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 25, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#boyfriend, #cock, #Dreams, #emotions, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #LosAngeles, #love, #lover, #memory, #oral, #past, #poem, #SC, #sex, #songs, #SouthCarolina, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry
I was thinking so often,
in that moment
that lasted a only minutes,
that I could take you home
but I was too shy to even
go up to you in person.
I watched hoping
that you’d come over
and things would happen
like an emotion.
I imagine you as my boyfriend
though I don’t know your name.
I imagine us together
though it will never be that way.
I dream of you
if only in that moment.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 18, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#gaypoem, #GayWriter, #LGBTWriter, #LosAngeles, #past, #poem, #SC, #SouthCarolina, #West Columbia, #words, #writer, poetry
jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 11, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#gaypoem, #GayWriter, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #memory, #past, #poem, #SC, #words, #writer, poetry
These days,
looking back,
looking forward
uncertain where I’ll be next.
I remember you,
I’ve not forgotten
what you meant to me
even after all of these years.
I reflect upon those days and nights,
so many people that I have met,
and now here I am alone.
On the floor the night before,
I spent so many days and nights
in that house.
In the living room
sharing a moment,
sharing a sofa
I remember your kiss
and I remember my love
for you.
I remember you,
you know who you are.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 7, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #boyfriend, #cock, #depression, #dick, #Dreams, #emotions, #fantasy, #gaypoem, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #identity, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #LosAngeles, #love, #lover, #masturbation, #memory, #oral, #past, #poem, #purpose, #SC, #sex, #songs, #SouthCarolina, #words, #writer, poetry
Last words for another day,
will I be so bold
and say what’s on my mind?
I’m gay if you don’t already know.
I suck cock and guys suck mine as well.
I’ve had sex as if you could tell by looking at me.
Am I ashamed of these things?
No, I’m not and I will do it again.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 7, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #boyfriend, #cock, #depression, #dick, #Dreams, #emotions, #fantasy, #gaypoem, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #identity, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #LosAngeles, #love, #lover, #masturbation, #memory, #oral, #past, #poem, #purpose, #SC, #sex, #SouthCarolina, #words, #writer, poetry
I dream of days that will never be,
I dream of people I’ll never know.
Sometimes I say words no one will ever hear,
sometimes I think: why am I here?
It’s not easy to explain,
the many things
that I am.
I can be sweet
and I can be not so nice at times.
I have these moments I feel so alone,
I want you to know that the pain you may feel
I have felt that pain as well.
I wake up not aware of what to think of the new day,
I awake hopeful that I won’t make too many mistakes.
I’m too honest at times
and I lie too often
nothing is real anymore.
I like things you may hate.
I think too much
and I do too little
so my life feels incomplete.
I’m sometimes horny,
it’s a part of the lonely.
If you know what I mean
you must be breathing.
I want to be with someone,
use my dick once again.
Is that too honest
or is that vulgar?
If I tell you I want dick again
where would we begin
to say what is hidden within?
I know secrets that I won’t share here.
Where was I?
I want it but I may never have it again.
I also want love but what is love?
How do I know it’s real
when I’ve never really had it?
Who am I?
I am many things to many different people.
I am not always the same.
What I say tonight
may not be what I say tomorrow.
I dream while awake.
I dream of him
but there’s no him in real life.
We kiss and I want to remain kissing forever.
We share our lives
but I have no life to give.
We are physical but you’re not.
What I want is more than a dick,
that’s not mine,
but I don’t have that yet.
I dream while awake of a love not yet had.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
June 4, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #depression, #emotions, #gaypoem, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #identity, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #LosAngeles, #love, #masturbation, #memory, #oral, #past, #poem, #SC, #sex, #SouthCarolina, #words, #writer, poetry
Sky is full of stars,
memories fill me
as I long to be
somewhere other than here.
I’m in my room,
though in my mind
I’m thousands of miles
somewhere else.
Images fill my head,
my heart quickens its pace.
I think of them,
their names long since
gone from my memory.
If I could touch you one more time,
taste you again,
feel your skin against mine,
feel your body as I am inside
of feel you inside
of me.
Those times were quick,
so brief yet I want them again.
I stand alone,
now in my room again,
I feel myself growing,
as these memories
come again.
I long for you
and I hope that you are doing well.
It’s been some years since
and I still remember you.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
May 30, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #depression, #emotions, #gaypoem, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #identity, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #love, #memory, #poem, #purpose, #SC, #sex, #songs, #SouthCarolina, #words, #writer, poetry
These times are tougher,
wondering what tomorrow will bring,
tougher than most days
but these aren’t your typical days.
My emotions are mixed,
I want to be alone
but I want to have a boyfriend
to hold me at night.
These times I imagine being next to him,
I could feel him next to me
and this closeness would
bring comfort to me.
Now Alone I stand,
always alone am I
as I wonder if there’s more to life
than this day to day.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
May 30, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #emotions, #images, #LGBT, #poem, #purpose, #SC, #SouthCarolina, #words, #writer, poetry
These nights are long
dreaming of a life different,
uncertain of how to find
a way to change everything.
I follow each day to the end,
dawn to dusk
I rise to lay my head
back down again.
I could pretend I know where I’m going
but what is certain
is that nothing is certain
with me.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
May 28, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#emotions, #gaypoem, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #memory, #oral, #past, #poem, #SC, #sex, #SouthCarolina, #words, #writer, poetry
It’s been some time since those times,
on your knees
at me feet
you consumed me.
I see you sometimes,
Sunday morning,
and I remember
those hours.
I can feel your mouth
take me inside
as my mind drifted.
I can remember those times
and I think I want it again
but I don’t know why.
I think of those moments
and I become harder
confused by these emotions.
I remember those times,
I sat in your living room,
that you sat me down
and now you act as though
it never occurred.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
May 28, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#emotions, #gaypoem, #gaysex, #GayWriter, #identity, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #LosAngeles, #love, #masturbation, #memory, #oral, #past, #poem, #SC, #sex, #SouthCarolina, #words, #writer, poetry
Hello Stranger,
insert your name here.
Not that I hate you
or love you
but what we had was just a moment.
I remember those times
but I don’t remember all of you.
You pointed down
and told me you wanted it
after saying you were
not about it.
You took my hand,
such a public occasion,
in the restroom
or the back alley
you were there.
Hello again,
you may not remember me
but I remember those times.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
May 28, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #gaypoem, #GayWriter, #identity, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #love, #masturbation, #memory, #oral, #past, #poem, #SC, #SouthCarolina, #writer, poetry
Waking up alone again
I imagine those times before,
though now I’m wanting more
than whatever those times were.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
May 28, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#emotions, #GayWriter, #identity, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #love, #poem, #SC, #SouthCarolina, #words, poetry
Somewhere in these words,
the many things I’ve said
and written,
you could find me.
I hate to repeat myself,
but I will as long as required,
so I tell you I need you.
I don’t know who you are,
we may have met
but I’m still unaware
of your significance.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
May 28, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#GayWriter, #identity, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #past, #poem, #SC, #SouthCarolina, #words, poetry
I struggle with the failure,
life is unexpected sometimes,
and I keep going
like I meant to do it that way.
I hear the words spoken,
those years ago
by someone intent
on harming me,
but now I hear these words
that hurt and bring me down
in my own voice.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
May 28, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #GayWriter, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #poem, #SC, #SouthCarolina, #words, poetry
Somewhere between awake
and dreaming
I imagine things spoken,
as whispers in my head.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
May 28, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Alone, #fantasy, #gaypoem, #GayWriter, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #love, #masturbation, #past, #poem, #SC, #SouthCarolina, #words, #writer, poetry
The headlines are depressing,
my life is not what I would have expected.
I sit here thinking of choices made,
wondering about my choices
I will make.
Tired and alone,
horny but don’t want to do anything by myself.
The hour is late,
I wonder if I will ever date.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
May 28, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#gaypoem, #GayWriter, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #love, #memory, #past, #poem, #SC, #SouthCarolina, #words, #writer, poetry
These nights I’m alone
wishing I were not,
I can remember
those times before
but what are memories
when you’re on your own?
I miss that touch,
I miss the kissing,
I can imagine those times
we did so much.
Now, alone in my room,
I dream of being with someone again,
but more than a night.
I am here alone dreaming about
the past and my future.
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
May 28, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#Carrowinds, #gaypoem, #GayWriter, #images, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #logride, #memory, #poem, #SC, #SouthCarolina, #themepark, #waterride, #words, #writer, poetry
I feel time moving,
as days become weeks
and weeks become years
and years are forgotten
except for the rarest of moments
that remain in our memory.
We sat rising into the the night sky
this water ride we were on,
talking as we looked over the side of the ride.
It was so long ago,
you have drifted so far away,
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jasonwhitaker29171
·
May 26, 2019
·
writing, poetry, writing
·
#gaypoem, #GayWriter, #LGBT, #LGBTWriter, #poem, #SC, #SouthCarolina, #words, #writer, poetry
I could close my eyes,
dream while I’m awake,
I could shake the tree
of memories
of the dried out leaves
of regret and suffering.
Do you hear me now?
I’m here shouting aloud.
I need more than kind words.
I hope you’ll understand if I don’t
always say the right words,
I’m not here to impress you
or change who I am
to meet your expectations of me,
I’m here to be me
and I need help from someone, anyone.
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